DG does deaf dating

Well, last night was an experience!

Meeting up with the lovely Shakira Shakira and Miss K is never dull – they always have exciting news to share of what they’ve been up to.

And last night was no exception.

We met for Thai in Soho, shared what we’d been up to and then decided to go for a drink.

With me choosing the venue, I walked us into a dead cocktail bar and then walked us back out, choosing instead to go to my favorite bar in Soho, which does chocolate martinis.

And guess what? It’s closed down! My date bar has closed down!

*sob

So then wandering about, we found another bar. Walking in, Miss K spoke to the doorman and we headed inside.

‘He said something about us being here for the event,’ she told us, eyebrows raised. ‘So I just said yes.’

And sure enough, upstairs the place was heaving with people.

We found a seat and then went to order drinks. And that’s when it started. Random men walked up to us and started talking about ‘the event’ while we nodded and smiled and made vague responses.

At this point I got the giggles so went and sat down. And during this time I missed a geeky guy telling beautiful Miss K that she’d look better without her glasses. This and the fact that two others asked for Shakira Shakira’s phone number after merely saying hello, meant the penny soon dropped.

We were at a dating event!

And sure enough, throughout the evening, a steady stream of men approached our table.

‘She’s the single one’ my lovely mates would chorus before texting their men or chatting about how great they were.

I was the single one, and being in this situation was about as fun for me as going skinny-dipping in an active volcano crater.

You see, I just don’t get it.

Well, I just don’t hear it for a start. And this whole forced coupling, where people behave like the world is going to end and everyone must get it on before midnight, leaves me feeling distinctly queasy.

The nicest bloke I spoke to all evening was one of the organisers. Indeed, he was also the best looking, the most charming and most polite – probably because he wasn’t there to pull.

Shakira Shakira was up in arms about my woeful ignorance of which guys were checking me out and did a sterling job of pointing them out to me.

And in one final attempt to get some success from the night she got me talking to a guy on my way out. We made small talk – it was fine. But then do you know what he said?

He said he didn’t ask for girls’ numbers, so if I wanted to see him again I would have to ask for his.

To which I politely responded, ‘Oh I’m terribly sorry, that’s such a shame as I am only attracted to proactive guys.’

I then smiled and walked off leaving him doing a rather odd impression of a goldfish.

Was I too harsh? Am I going to miss out on true love due to my acidic tongue and reluctance to join the melee that is forced dating?

I say no. Because what last night showed me is that new experiences are fun, and what they do is open you up to see more real experiences.

Take my journey home last night. There I was walking along chuckling to myself when the most gorgeous man cycled past. And instead of looking away, I smiled at him. And he smiled at me... several times... until I became concerned about the likelihood of him cycling into a bus.

Did I get his number? Do not have a date? No and no, but I also know, that when I truly want to, I will be nice to the right guy and he will be nice to me. You can’t force love.

Not onto DG anyway.