The shouting man on the bus

Whoa, ever had one of those mornings where you wake up dreaming that you’re doing what you know you’re going to be doing that day?

This morning I woke up dreaming about my Superdrugloves.com post, which is due in today – I was up late last night trying to sort it out, as the crazy idea I had doesn’t seem to be working.

This morning, I woke up and in my dream I had been asking Big Bro, who’s a bit of a computer whizz, for advice. So the first thing I did, after showering and chomping down toast whole – a sure-fire way to get indigestion – was drop him a line.

He’s amazing with computers and whenever I have a question I send him an enquiring email, usually asking him to fix something remotely – he lives in Clogland – or guess what the problem with a file, photo, webpage etc, with my very girly descriptions of what I think the issue may be.

He’s very patient it must be said. He once stopped me buying a laptop simply because it was pink, and made me buy Pink Top, which is to be fair, pink, but it is also a very good computer.

Right now, I am sat on the bus tapping away on it, praying the bloomin’ roadworks on my route to work don’t make me late, but knowing that at least I can get today’s blog done – multitasking at its best.

The bus however, is putting me in a very bad mood, or rather a man on the bus. He is behind me shouting at the top of his voice down his mobile phone. I don’t know if he’s shouting in English, although the tone doesn’t sound like it, but I wish he would shut the hell up.

There is another man next to me, also on his mobile, but he’s talking in hushed whispers and I can barely hear his voice, let alone what language he’s talking in. That is how it should be if you choose to make mobile calls on the bus. When I am Queen I will enforce this law – in fact I shall make talking on mobiles illegal – everyone shall have to text, quietly.

I know it sounds odd, a deaf person complaining about hearing things, but imagine having white noise played in your ear continuously on your journey to work. Or simply having someone shout down your ear something that was totally unintelligible…

It would annoy you, right?

The man to my left is not on his phone, and he is doing the British thing and quietly ignoring the loud man, in fact, I am not even sure he is actually bothered. But I am getting more and more bothered by the minute. It’s building up and in a moment I swear I am going to stand up and shout at the shouting man on the phone.

Not a good plan on a rush hour bus, but hey, it might make him shut up.

It also might make the local news – girl loses plot on bus and throws pink laptop at shouting man…

Look out for the headline on The London Lite tonight

*teehee