Hearing on the train

Thursday? Already? How on earth did that happen?

Now April is here, I am on the wedding countdown – indeed the first of the hen parties is this weekend, for Uni Housemate.

It should be great. Spinning Girl (AKA Onion Soup Mate) has done a meticulous job of organising everything like the accommodation and shopping and wotnot, while I am taking care of the creative side of things.

Uni Housemate is going to get a few surprises this weekend, that’s for sure.

Anyway, I am continuing to feel exceptionally proud of myself for getting the tube to my new job every day. OK, I mean I know that normal people do this daily, but I really do find it scary. But each time I do it, it gets a little bit better. And this morning, when we stopped in a tunnel for what seemed like an eternity, I didn’t even panic... much.

In fact, I sat there and ‘listened’ as hard as I could and even made out the word ‘red’, which reassured me that the train must be sat at a red signal waiting for a platform to become available.

This Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway concept is a toughy. I often find it’s the fear of the fear that’s the worst. It’s the thought of how I might react if the train got stuck for any long period of time, rather than the actual thought of the train getting stuck...

Does that make sense?

What always reassures me in these situations in other people’s facial expressions. If they look calm, it’s easier for me to stay calm. I have yet to encounter a look of panic, but you can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll be able to spot me if I see one. I’ll be the wild looking blonde girl necking Rescue Remedy straight from the bottle, the discarded pipette at my feet!

And the great thing about me finding the tube so stressful? Well, it’s completely prevented me from feeling nervous about my new job. After all, if I can deal with the Underground, which is my biggest phobia, I can deal with anything. I’m even calmer in my personal life. Spiders in the bath? No problem. Neighbour downstairs? Piece of cake. Hoodies on my street? I’ll be making them tea by the weekend...

And while I know it’s only early days, it has shown me, that if you face your fears head on, you can actually beat them... or at least give them a jolly good kick in the shins!