Playing the hearing game

What a fabulous weekend I had at Uni Housemate’s hen do in the Wild West Erm... Country. We stayed on a farm, which had every kind of animal imaginable, including a group of grumpy geese, a sexually frustrated peacock and some very cute calves, who were only a few days old.

Our accommodation comprised of two converted barns, and it was great to catch up with old friends from university, meet new members of Uni Housemate’s family and natter with excitement about the wedding. On the Saturday morning however, everybody emerged for breakfast somewhat bleary eyed.

‘Did you hear the cockerel/cow/geese/horses/ducks?’ they all enquired with each other and there was lots of nodding of sympathetic heads. I however, heard nothing. Not one single thing awoke me from my peaceful slumber...

Being deaf: 1 Being hearing:0

On the Sunday, as we were sat out on the terrace, Mrs H suddenly declared she could hear a goldfinch, and out came the binoculars to seek it out. She located it in the tree above our heads, a gorgeous little bird with a red face. Everyone was commenting on its call, but it could have been yelling obscene swear words and I wouldn’t have been able to tell...

Being deaf:1 Being hearing:1

On Saturday night, we had a fabulous catered meal, with enough food to feed an army. Naturally, there was some alcohol to accompany this feast and I totally forgot that after a few drinks, my ability to lipread goes downhill and I usually fall asleep.

I did this, during a game of Rapido, which is like Pictionary only with plastacine. I missed out on the end of the evening’s entertainment.

Being deaf:1 Being hearing:2

One afternoon we went for a walk. While going through a field, we came across a group of particularly jumpy cows. I immediately envisioned them trampling us to death and Mrs H armed me with a stick to make me feel better.

Being DG:0 Being a normal rational human being:1

It was deafinitely one of the most relaxing hen dos I’ve been on – good food, good company, great entertainment, great accommodation and great memories.

And whether you’re deaf or hearing, making memories that last forever is what’s important... that and remembering to drink a big glass of water before bed...

Which on Saturday night, I forgot to do.

Deafinitely Girly:0 Hangover:200!